From my Heart 1

From my Heart #1 to Texas District One:

The future seems daunting; today has been challenging, and my faith feels small. I just finished a Bible study on “Joy,” and next month will focus on “Peace,” both from the Fruit of the Spirit. Knowing that I have both, my human side feels as if the walls are closing in due to this spiritual and physical battle. We understand that it will get worse, and sometimes, all we can do is pray. At times, the pain is too deep to pray, and so we moan. Much of the day, I mourned and cried for you, me, our families, and our community. I know we are not forsaken because we have been warned about what is happening and what is to come, yet that does not make it any easier. I don’t know about you, but my heart aches, especially for those who are worse off than I am. What about those with disabilities who do not have a family or the orphans who will be lost in the chaos of all the madness? What about the elderly with no children or no one to help them with their technology needs?

Lord, what about all of us who have some needs, or many needs, that are not always supported but are backed by promises from the government like Social Security and reliable healthcare? What about us? Is this us now, us as a nation, as the United States, us?

No, it is not us! We are going to dust ourselves off again and again throughout this storm. When we fall, we will get back up stronger because we are in this together. We are going to work and thrive as a community because what they are using to divide us will ultimately unite us. Their personal segregation is coming in the end (heaven or hell), but for now, we fight. We fight like we are in a war because we are in a war. We are in a spiritual battle, Ephesians 6:12, whether you like it or not. When I am weak, He is strong, so I keep talking about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit because the I AM is my Joy. The Joy of the Lord is my strength, and that is how I fight.

You do you, but I am going to do me, too. I am not going to hide and conform to this world. That is how I am staying strong. Just like you have your protest signs, ___________ rights! My sign is penned to my heart, tongue, and actions. Regardless of what you think, serve, or who you love, in all our many differences, we are all God’s children, and each and every one of you is worth fighting for.   

In my weakness regarding politics, God is my strength and source of wisdom. His way is to love you as you are, just like me. Therefore, I will fight for you as such. As I die to myself daily, giving into the Fruit of the Spirit and watching my personal words—because sometimes I have a Muhammad Ali mouth—it will eventually benefit us when I need to spar verbally with Moran and others. Still, I write as a hobby, as a career, and as my imaginary Teddy Bear. To you, I write the words: I love you. I care for you. I wish it weren’t this bad. Air hug, squeeze tight like a grandmother’s hug. Now, to rip off the Band-Aid, I understand that we needed pruning. Apparently, we as a country did not learn the lessons of COVID-19, especially since we've had the same President that we have now. Like my LeTourneau professor told us on the first day of college years ago, “Look to the right, now look to the left. Not everyone is going to survive this cohort. Some will drop out, some will fail out, and some will graduate out.” With that noted, I ask you to look to your right figuratively and left at the people around you, and now I want you to look within yourself. Which one are you?

Goodnight. It is now 10:44 pm.

Many blessings,

Masika Akilah Ray

P.S. I hope this makes sense because I’m going to bed. Forgive any mistakes or not. Zzzz